Turn Around

Losing a friend was never easy. As you watch her walk away, you feel like you're the worst person in the world. Seeing her back facing you for the first time, you feel like there are millions of people trying to keep the two of you from each other. There are suddenly lots of people in front of you and you can no longer see her back.

River-Merchant: A Letter

A reply letter to River-Merchant's Wife: A Letter.

The river's flowing slowly like it did in the past

When we could still be happy and glad

When we could still play and laugh

When we could still brighten up each other's face with just a smile.

But now, my dear, the bright days are gone,

The sun has stopped shining and the dark clouds have come.

I look above and see nothing but black,

Not being able to find a single ray of sunshine.

Still, I wait for you and the birds sing nothing but the blues.

And it does nothing but sadden me,

But I know that it will sadden you even more.

Leaves turn orange, some brown.

There is not one day I do not think of you.

Spring passes by as quickly as summer,

Winter lingering just a bit longer.

And still I think of you.

Would you be waiting for my return,

Lilies in hand and a smile on your face?

Or would you be picking yellow tulips with a substitude,

Bringing with you all your subtlety and grace?

The wind smells like you, and so do the trees.

The night noises sound like your footsteps.

Everywhere I turn, I see your peaceful face.

I wonder, would you still look the same?

When I left, I left something other than my love.

Even the flowers would shake their heads.

The migrating birds seem to mock me as they pass.

For I can never go back.

--

Trivia: Lilies mean 'New beginning.' Yellow tulips mean 'One-sided love.' How I love the language of flowers.♥

Status: Just finished reading Before I fall by Lauren Oliver. Have to buy more books. 

No Time

"I'm so sorry. I'm busy tomorrow. Can we go next time?"

Without even waiting for an answer, you turned away from me and started skipping to wherever you had to go. You think that I won't mind you canceling another one of our movie nights. You think that everyone would consider just for you and that everything will go your way always. I hated that about you.

Friends are people who you can trust, who you can expect to be there for you. At least, that's what we believed in before you changed. What happened?

We used to be so happy together, talking on the phone almost every night and going to each other's houses until our mothers complained that we were spending more time with each other than our family.

But suddenly, something happened. You changed. You started having absolutely no time for me anymore. You started making up excuses that we both knew were ridiculous. Why? Have you gotten tired of me? Am I not enough for you anymore?

Honestly, I'm hurt, but I will no longer chase after you. I've had enough. As of today, you are but a faded shadow in my memory.

Goodbye.

--

Why do I keep writing about goodbye's? I guess it's a mystery to me too. :)

Almost Losing Someone

I was so frustrated. I tried my best to keep her safe, yet she was gone. I kept blaming myself, knowing that there were things I could have done to prevent her from being gone. Thoughts of 'If Only' filled my heart and my conscience started getting guiltier and guiltier. I felt like I was disgusting. How could I have done this to her? I felt like I had betrayed her after all she's done for me.

I couldn't stop thinking about how things would have turned out differently if I had been more careful, more cautious. I couldn't stop blaming myself for this happening, my mind filled with thoughts of how horrible a person I am for letting this happen to her.

And that was the first time in a long time that I cried.

But the story doesn't end there.

Breaking

The feeling of his soft fingers against my face still lingered and as I bring myself to remember how he looked and how he smiled that heartwarming smile I loved so much, my heart skips a beat.